To the bouncer who accepted my fake ID after seeing my face plastered all over the Grammys: you are a true hero. Thanks for a great afterparty.
i think my saddest moment as an Australian was finding out that the rest of the world doesn’t say “never eat soggy weetbix” to figure out the order of the compass
tH EY DONT???!!?!??
Americans say “Never Eat Shredded Wheat” what ever the hell that means?
Never eat soggy waffles here…
treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me
no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry
*4-second-long fart noise*
How awesome does this sound though. You get infinite money and once a week you get to take a child to a candy store or toys or us or somewhere they love and buy them as much they want this would be fun given the kid wasn’t a brat.
There is no downside to this at all
This is the best, because it says A CHILD, not your child, so I could pick one of the really poor kids on the streets and go “Your life is going to change right now”, and I could buy everything their family might need, along with a house, a food supply, toys, clothes, and everything they never had the chance to have before. And the best thing is that I could do this with lots of children, and not just one. I could give a lot of children in need a full week of Christmas basically and maybe give them a chance to have a different life. That would be great.
Bless u ^ humanity still exists.
Plus depending on how you define “child”, you could be helping high students who struggling with application fines and even pay for college tuition, room and board, or books
Does it count if you’re a child on the inside
i love this more then i really should
JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE WASPS HIGHER ON THE LIST THAN PRISONERS
PRISONERS AT LEAST HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SIT POLITELY AND CONGRATULATE YOU WASPS ARE THE PHYSICAL INCARNATION OF METATRON’S DICK FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS WITH NO LUBE
That is the best description I have ever heard.